Mothers

     I have been thinking about the loss of a mother and grandmother to Jeff and the kids and those thoughts have led to pondering relationships between mother and child.  I feel so fortunate to be able to say that my  mother was my best friend from the time I was about 16 to the day she died.  

     I can't say that my mom was the best mother...that she was the big hugs, wet kisses, read stories at night and sing lullaby type of mom.  She didn't enjoy being in the kitchen, changing diapers, walking the floor or  attending school concerts, plays, conferences or the such.  She reluctantly played den mother once to Kevin's cub scout troop but didn't sign up for the second year!  So, she wasn't the traditional mother but we knew we were loved.  She did her best to give us what we needed.  There was never enough money as kids but we had what we needed and what we had was good. 

     We also had a very interesting, unique, thought provoking and stimulating person raising us.  She was a great example for feminists!  There was nothing she couldn't do if she wanted to.  She gutted the kitchen in the house in Bedford and installed wallpaper, cabinets and laid the new floor.  She hung off the roof of the house in Cutler Ridge when she was 9 months pregnant and painted the roof eves! She mowed yards, sewed, painted, wallpapered, decorated, did needlepoint, went to college (with me),wrote and was an artist.  She didn't have successful marriages but when she called you 'friend' you were that for life. 

     And, I was her friend as well as her daughter and I loved my role.  We talked about everything.  She kept me in line with a realistic outlook on my kids and what was going on in their lives.  She didn't sugarcoat things or use rose colored glasses.  She called it like it was and yet, she loved the girls and only wanted the best.